i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
