I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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