i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
