I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
