I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
