Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
