Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize