She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize