; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
