i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
