you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
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