I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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