Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
