There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just want to make out with him forever
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
