You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Randomize
