Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize