You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
