I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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