So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I skipped work to stalk him.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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