My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize