also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
