1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
