GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
