I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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