Yo dont text me then not text me
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
