walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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