I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I just gift wrapped bread.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
