Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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