Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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