Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize