Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
