Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize