i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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