Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
