oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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