Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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