just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
