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Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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