i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
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