Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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