Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
