I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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