Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
