Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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