what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
