Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
