You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize