so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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