My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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