so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
