I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
