Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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