If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
