We should be called the Road Head Warriors
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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