I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
