i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
