I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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