I wish my penis had an off switch
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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